Crimson

It's Valentine's Day evening, and the Talon is fully decked out for the occasion. Clark enters with Chloe, taken aback by all the decorations. Feeling betrayed, he accuses his friend of setting him up, but Chloe seems just as astonished by the festivities as he is. However, she refuses to let him retreat back to the farm, insisting that his "achy-breaky heart" will heal someday. She even assures him that the next love of his life could be just around the corner, and as if on cue, Lois enters, followed closely behind by Jimmy. Feeling down on love, Lois expresses a wish that some of the decorations would burst into flames. Jimmy, however, has a different outlook: he insists that once you fall in love, everything just clicks into place. The two then meet up with Clark and Chloe. Chloe is happy to see Jimmy, but is surprised by her cousin joining them on their outing with Clark. Taking Jimmy aside, she learns that Jimmy had invited Lois along with the intention of setting her up with Clark. He points out that Lois and Clark have chemistry, to which Chloe snarks that so do nitroglycerin and peroxide but that she wouldn't recommend putting those two together either. Lois and Clark, meanwhile, awkwardly realize that they've been set up, with Lois comparing the two of them to "hot fudge and halibut". Annoyed to realize he's the halibut, Clark leaves Lois to head for the exit. Lois then turns around to find a new age-type woman named Star selling aphrodisiacs at a nearby booth. Sensing Lois's negative attitude towards love, Star sells Lois a tube of red lipstick to help her move on from her breakup with Oliver. Star says the lipstick is made up of aphrodisiac oils and red meteor rock, and that it'll make Lois fall for the first man she sets eyes on. While trying on the lipstick in a mirror, Lois catches Clark's reflection just as he's in the middle of leaving. Instantly smitten, Lois spins around, smiling as she says Clark's name.

At the Kent Farm the following morning, Martha asks Clark about the Valentine's party at the Talon. When she learns he didn't have a great time, she starts to give him love advice, when Lois arrives, looking sexy in a miniskirt, knee-high boots, and leather jacket. Lois asks Martha to give her and Clark a couple of minutes alone, and Martha seems only too happy to oblige. Lois then presents Clark with a mixed CD she made him full of power ballads, before invading his personal space and wrapping his "big, strong arms" around her for a slow dance. Clearly uncomfortable with Lois's flirting, Clark distracts her by asking her to put on the mixed CD, and as soon as her back is turned, comically superspeeds away from the farm. Meanwhile, at the Talon apartment, Chloe is about to leave for work, when Lana stops by. They both acknowledge that they'd left things in a weird place the last time that they'd spoken. Lana says she feels like she's lost everyone else in her life since she's been with Lex and doesn't want to lose Chloe too. Chloe wonders if Lana has lost everyone or if she's been kept isolated, pointing out that Lex can be "protective" of his things. Appreciating that Chloe is just looking out for her, Lana asks if they can just move past it so that Chloe can be Lana's maid of honor. Chloe accepts the position, but asks what to do about the elephant in the room known as Clark. That's when Lana agrees to stop asking Chloe to betray Clark's secret, so long as Chloe acknowledges that he has one. Later, at the Daily Planet, Chloe finds a bouquet of flowers on her desk, along with a note from Jimmy, reading, "Thanks for my first unsucky Valentine's Day." That puts a smile on her face, just as Clark appears, annoyed with the whole holiday. He and Chloe were apparently supposed to meet twenty minutes prior, and Chloe lies that she got stuck in traffic. She then changes the subject to Martian Manhunter, explaining that her attempts at digging up info have so far turned up empty. Clark, however, is more concerned about Lois. He shows Chloe the mixed CD, explaining that Lois is somehow romantically interested in him. Chloe at first finds the situation comical, but then Lois appears, showing off a tattoo on her chest of a heart, along with the words 'Lois and Clark Forever'. When Lois suggests Clark gets one to match, Chloe quickly excuses herself to go look into Lois's sudden personality shift, leaving Lois and Clark alone. Clark tries to ask Lois about what had happened to her the night before, just as Lois pulls Clark into an empty phone booth and plants one on him. The red kryptonite in the lipstick has an immediate effect on Clark, turning him into inhibition-free Kal. He proceeds to take Lois to a dusty newspaper office in order to make out with her, though she questions his sudden interest in her. He assures her that his interest in her is genuine, but as they're making out, Lois realizes that she's kissed him before and accuses him of being the Green Arrow. That's when he reveals that he was only pretending to be in order to keep Oliver's secret. Lois suddenly gets introspective about her attraction to "emotionally unavailable weekend warriors," but then, tells Clark that she's glad to have finally found a normal guy. Offended at being called normal, Clark insists that Oliver's not even in the same league as him. She assures him that she finds the whole "dorky farm-boy thing" adorable and that he doesn't need to be macho for her. Clark, however, says that maybe it's time for her to meet the "real Clark Kent."

Meanwhile, at the Luthor Mansion, Lex's staff is preparing for his and Lana's engagement dinner that evening, when Lex pulls Lana aside to surprise her with a fully decorated nursery room. Instead of being happy, though, Lana becomes worried that someone will see the all the baby stuff, since nobody else knows about the pregnancy except for Clark and Chloe. Lex suggests that they announce the pregnancy during the party, but Lana would instead prefer that the party be solely about their engagement. He accuses her of being in denial about the pregnancy, but she replies that she wants people to know that she's marrying Lex for love and not because of the baby. Lex seems to accept that answer. That night, back at the Daily Planet, Clark takes Lois up to the rooftop. Lois is unsure of what they're doing up there, especially when Clark steps up onto a ledge. Pulling her up there with him, he grabs her close and takes a flying leap over to Oliver's clocktower apartment. Lois is suitably impressed. Breaking in via the balcony, Clark starts undressing Lois under the guise of making sure she didn't spell his name wrong on her tattoo. However, their passion comes to an abrupt halt when Clark notices an invitation to Lex and Lana's engagement party sticking out of Lois's jacket. She explains that she'd RSVPed before her breakup with Oliver, but that now she has better ways to occupy her night. Clark, however, insists they put in an appearance, pointing out that it's not really a party until someone crashes it.

Back over at the Daily Planet, meanwhile, Chloe thanks Jimmy for the flowers from earlier while he thanks her for a bowtie she'd gifted him, saying he probably won't wear it until his next style renaissance. Jimmy then points out that Chloe needs to get ready for Lex and Lana's party, but she says that it's going to have to wait now that she has a lead on "whatever love-nip Lois rolled in." Jimmy just chalks up Lois's behavior to his skills as a matchmaker, and accuses Chloe of being jealous of anyone coming in between her and Clark. Annoyed at the accusation, Chloe tells him to drop it. Instead, though, he persuades her to delegate, rather than miss Lana's engagement party. So, while she sets out for Smallville, she sends Jimmy to meet with Star. Later, Jimmy visits Star's new age-y shop to ask for the woman's help in getting Lois back to normal. Star sells him a spray bottle of green liquid that will counteract the aphrodisiac, but warns that Lois and Clark's destinies are a "little more entwined than they realize." Meanwhile, at the Luthor Mansion, Chloe and Martha are among those in attendance at Lex and Lana's engagement dinner. Lex is giving a toast to his bride-to-be, when Clark and Lois come barging in, interrupting. Seeing Martha, Clark accuses his mom of being more of a Luthor than a Kent these days, reminding her that Jonathan's only been dead for a year now. Then, noticing Chloe, Clark taunts that once Lana's off the market, Chloe's years of unrequited pining might finally pay off. Finally, he turns his venom on Lana, applauding her for rebounding with the one person he hates the most. Fed up with Clark's antics, Lex asks Clark to leave, but Clark shouts that he's not done yet. He continues, sardonically congratulating Lex on "sealing the deal," before tossing a rattle at Lex and proclaiming in front of everyone that the baby is the real reason Lana is marrying Lex. Furious, Lex charges at Clark, who easily avoids him, sending Lex spinning into a table topped with champagne glasses. When Lana goes to check on Lex, Clark grabs her by the arm and abducts her, all in the name of saving her from Lex. Lois tries to stop them, insisting that she's Clark's future and Lana is his past. Clark, however, retorts that it's currently the present, leaving Lois devastated.

Later, Lois drowns her feelings with dessert, most of the party's guests having already cleared out. Martha and Chloe discuss Clark's alarming behavior, with Chloe filling in Martha on the aphrodisiac Lois had been hit with and correctly deducing that the lipstick's ruby-red sheen was produced using red kryptonite, affecting Clark as well.